Over thinking

I am a chronic over thinker in all aspects of my life. I also LOVE (Sarcasm) to make a catastrophy out of everything. I am worst case scenario with every aspect of life, and it's very tiring!

Monday night I over thought. Henry was energetic from the moment I sat in the saddle. He had the coiled spring feel. I got him to work and he was fine until I asked him to canter. I could feel a buck building do I did some trot-canter transitions until I felt him settle. We continued with the canter and the ducks on the dam decided to all fly away at the same time... again! And Henry teleported to the other side of the area, kicking up his heals. I pulled him up quickly, re-positioned myself and went right back to cantering. He had another 2 moments like this, each less enthusiastic than the previous and I just kept him cantering and forward.

In the moment I was fine. I didn't feel unseated or like he was going to get me off, he wasn't being nasty and we just got on with the job. He eventually worked out of it and for most of the ride, he was really good. His walk feels amazing at the moment. After I got off, my brain got to work over analysing EVERYTHING about what had happened. I was feeling very down and disappointed and like we weren't getting anywhere.

I was worrying if Henry was sore, does his saddle fit ok? Is he just feeling well? Am I doing something wrong in his training? What if I fall off? What if he wrecks my confidence? What if he does it at a comp? What if he's not suitable to compete? What if I'm not skilled enough to manage this behaviour? Have I broken him? These thoughts and more over and over.

Then I made myself stop and think about it. Sure this was the second time in as many weeks he has had a wahoo. Both times it was after a few days off. Both times I felt it coming and did my best to stop it before it happened, and both times I tried to continue like nothing had happened. I never once felt unseated, and for the most part he worked really well! And why is it that when Coolie buck I laugh at him but with Henry it's such a big deal?

I compare Henry too much to a horse in my past and forget that I am a more skilled rider now. I am stronger than I was, more knowledgeable and Henry is very different in his personality type to that horse. I need to stop this comparison. 

I realised I need to focus on the positives of each ride. I need to ride like it never happened and if it does happen, continue with the ride like it didn't. Don't make a fuss, just take a big breath and continue as normal. Henry needs a confident, quiet rider who doesn't make a big fuss when things go wrong. There will always be bumps along the road when training a young horse. You just have to keep moving forward.

When I took his rug off on Monday I was amazing at how well he looked! I reckon Henry is feeling well, he is fit and getting plenty of food. He is becoming more confident in himself too. For the most part I think his moments are because he is feeling good, and he is testing what he can and can't do. That's ok, that is how we all learn after all. I will check his saddle fit, and make sure I ride more consistently just to be sure. I think a lesson is also on the cards.

From now on I will focus on the positives. I am going to put my stirrups up a hole and ride the bumps that come my way. I will reflect on what I can improve on after each ride but take more note of the positives. I will stop worrying about things I cannot control and just love my horses!


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